There have been many beautiful moments when I was able to challenge myself. However, most of those „beautiful moments” were not so cute at that very moment, yet later some of those events changed their meaning in my eyes.
I’m happy to have them because those learning experiences built me, the person who I am now. I’m glad because one of those learning experiences taught me how important it is to be a responsible husband and father.
I’m convinced that as a man, I have to work as hard as possible to provide all the necessary needs for my family. I was raised and taught to do so, like many of us. However, this is burnt into our culture, there are rare reminds talking about the importance of focusing on our beloved ones’ spiritual condition as well.
I was working hard to set up an affordable living environment for my family. During those years – most of the time – I had to work far from them because of the nature of my profession. Although I had permission from them to do what I thought worth doing for the sake of my family, I left the right path for a while. Years went by and suddenly I realized that I lost the reality; I became greedy.
Go back to the right path
We had some tough time behind us. Almost a decade ago, we had some significant financial issues. That time I decided to do something to change the circumstances. I set up a goal and started to work on it. Even though, after years, we reached our goal and solved the financial issue we had before, I continued working on it subconsciously.
Why did I continue? Because the method I found was working correctly. It merely became my personality over the years. I became a person who solves issues, who is strong-minded, who is tough enough to spend more time far away from his family if it is needed, and unfortunately, it was always required. So, I established and maintained a lifestyle I never wanted.
I cannot be thankful enough to the wisdom – inspired by the book called „The Last Arrow” by Erwin Raphael Mcmanus – that allowed me to recognize I was working on an issue that doesn’t exist anymore. I just stopped for a moment, and I found that I still focusing more on my family’s financial well-being rather than taking care of my beloved ones’ spiritual condition.
„It is odd how we prioritize the things that matter to us. We choose a career or job; we choose a city or place to live. We make so many things important to us, but in all the things we factor is we craft our futures, we make the people in our lives a commodity of, at best, secondary importance. We would take a job and give up our people rather than choose a tribe and give up the job.”
Erwin Raphael Mcmanus
Now I know that I forgot the original reason why I set up this goal. My goal was about family and not about money. Now I know that the more money I want this way, the less time I can spend with my family. Hence, I want to get rid of this lifestyle. Goal reached. Session closed. There is nothing left to do with it. It is time to switch focus and find open opportunities for us.
Find a new way of living
However, I was fully supported by my family during all those years, I believe, things have to be changed. We have to change the silence support to loud common days whatever it costs. Family is the most important. It is the foundation of well-being for me. I only can be a self-confident person if I’m an active member back home as well.
So, new challenges appeared. A twist of mindset needed. I need to think out of the box. Let’s shape work to support family life rather than the other way around.
I was lucky to identify in time what is essential for me, and I hope it is not late to set up shared goals for my family to reach, rather than continue my adventure alone.
„Sometimes our greatest quests are within walking distance of our front doors. Sometimes the great challenge God has placed in front of us comes in the most unexpected situations, such being good husband, good wives, good parents.”
Erwin Raphael Mcmanus
From now on I will not go fast alone, but we will learn how to go far together.
