How Positivity & Self Love can improve your confidence in being social


To be perfect in any field always hurts your social life. Lacking social life, especially during college, has a strong connection with low confidence. You become lonely, desperate, and lose your faith in your social skills.

You may be very good at studying as a focused and perfect student, but as an individual, you may have no opportunities to build strong friendships; therefore, you feel that you become unsocial. Nobody wants you to meet you, talk to you, even see you because you are not good at getting along.

I lost the confidence of being social long before I got admitted into the school. Although I was brought up in a well-educated family, unfortunately, I got a strict environment regarding my education. I was immensely stressed during school time.

I couldn’t imagine getting even lesser grades; to be precise, I was forced to learn a lot. I guess so many of you can relate to becoming an eager-beaver to fit your family’s expectations.

Thanks to my early sight of this problem, I got rid of it. I have learned so many things in the process that I want to share with you. This post may help you. You may find the missing part of your happiness and peace of mind. Keep reading. It is for you. Just for you!

What if I say that the feeling of being unwanted is directly related to the sense you think of yourself? Surprised? Let me rephrase it for you. If you think lowly of yourself. It is most likely that the people around you will feel the same about you.

If you are used to self-pity or think you are nothing or no one. The same vibes will attract others to do the same. For many people, positivity and self-love are two unrelated and diverse terms. But, for me, they are closely knitted to each other. They are directly proportional.

A positive attitude is the genuine attitude of a human being. Who do you think needs it the most? Kids, animals, nature, poor/homeless, elderly/lonely people. Yes, you are right. They all need it. But the person in need of your positive and grateful attitude the most is “you”.

When you are facing a rough patch in your life. You try to charity more. You want to make people happy, although you are becoming bitter and rude inside. This further leads to various negative thoughts that badly affect your physical and mental health.

This is where it all goes in vain where you can not help yourself. How come you get a positive attitude from others? In the process of imparting love, care, knowledge, and positivity. Sometimes we forget the need for our body and mind.

That makes us eventually more negative. Motivation in your life depends upon the intrinsic drive and the way you treat yourself. i.e. positively or negatively, and if there isn’t anyone to boost your morale, you should find motivation within yourself.

The best way to take out all the negative energies is self-love. The first step you take towards loving the way you are is to step on the path towards success in life. It would be helpful to accept yourself and your flaws at the first step.

Then gradually, in no time, you will be able to create a synergy that will engulf all the harmful loops broadcasting around you. Let me share my own experience that changed my perspective and saw positivity and self-love.


Self-love is nothing but perception. When you feel good about yourself, take good care of yourself, listen to your body and mind, and most importantly, put yourself first. Putting yourself on the top of your priority list is not a sin. It is not selfish as well.

It just realizes your importance in your own eyes. It is your sheer responsibility to love yourself because if you can not do this, do not expect it from anybody else. The first positive outcome, you will notice happiness and inner peace.

Experience: When I was struggling in my final year of college. I wanted to get out of college on time with good grades and get a decent job as well.

In the process, I entirely forget the fact that I am a human being, and I could make mistakes as well. I used to do chores in a way that would look perfect all the time.

Drawback: The people around me started avoiding me. They thought I was a perfectionist and will judge them with the same state of mind. I lost a couple of really caring individuals during this time.

By the time I realized my mistakes, I was already in the state of blaming myself and started hating myself more.

Importance of Self-love in Life

Self-love has a significant impact on your social life, family, and work. A person who loses compassion toward himself needs help. You are lucky if you have someone to pull you out of the situation. If there is no one. You are your only hope!

Experience: As I already lost the people who would have helped me. I did an unusual act. I started visiting a park near my hostel and started thinking about where I was going wrong.

I got my answer within a week.

  • I was not thinking positively about myself.
  • I was unsure that I could handle the situation.
  • I was scared of failure.
  • I was not trusting myself that I could do everything right.
  • I was dragging myself like a robot and not thinking like a human being who is allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.

Things I did to Boost Self-love Might Help You

I changed the viewpoint of my life and future. Even realizing the mistake doesn’t mean that you will change your attitude in a day or two. It will take time. Sometimes it takes more time even to realize your mistakes.

Still, once you are in, you will find your way out. I set my goal but removed the fear of outcomes. Negativity is very harmful to your productivity. Setting objectives and then striving to achieve them is good.

But pounding your mind by overthinking. Making unreal speculations. That doesn’t even happen yet is entirely foolish. I leveled up my confidence in myself. I accepted my flaws and started working to improve myself.

I taught myself that I would stick to the plan and work hard to achieve my goal. Whatever will be the result, I am going to embrace it like a gentle soul. This constructive approach is still benefiting me.

I found the habits that were damaging my positive approach. Those habits were hurting my emotions and were giving me a hard time achieving my objectives. I cut off the practices that were wasting my time, limiting my personality, and ruining my social life.

Indulging in a bad habit will make you stressed as well. Because you know in your subconscious that it is a waste of time and energy. To catch up with the deadline, you have to be up late at night or do unnecessary hard work. That means an exhausted body and mind.

I improved trust in myself that automatically boosted my confidence level. I started speaking my mind. I developed a good habit of listening more and talking less. I was already good at maintaining eye contact; I furthermore developed a habit of passing smiles more frequently.

I even started setting more realistic goals in life rather than being a perfectionist.

I started treating myself with kindness. I usually want to go on a morning walk rather than going to watch a movie.

I am not against watching movies because it may be a favorite pastime for many people. I am only sharing my preferences. The beauty of self-love is that you can set your happiness preferences as you like and wish.

Take Away

No one can deny the impact of positive energies around you. If you want to surround yourself with positivity. You need to start from within. You must love yourself to gain the power to accept the others around you and make positive impressions on others. 

It is not a one-time shot. It is instead a gradual process that needs time and spirit. Do it for your own sake. In this busy world, you are not supposed to wait for someone special and rescue you from the negative thoughts.

It is you who must help you. Maybe in the early days, you have to remind yourself about every single positive thing you want to improve. You can record them, like writing them down on your workstation or bedroom wall would be best.

You can also maintain an achievements list. For example, if you developed a positive habit that seems to love yourself, record it in a diary and treat yourself well for the accomplishment. Instead of beating around the bush over the things you couldn’t do in the past. Distressing your mind and blaming yourself for wasting time. Just start doing it today.

Let’s not waste a single minute not loving yourself. Love yourself. Trust me. It’s worth it.

Do you need to say something? Do not hold it to yourself! Let’s go and share with us in the comments!

About the author


However, Peter is NOT an author of any bestseller yet, in his posts, he encourages his readers to have a positive mindset and proactive lifestyle. He reads books that help him uncover his true potential. He is a father of two, married, and a leader in his profession. On the way of his self-discovery, he invites you to be inspired by his thoughts.

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By Peter


However, Peter is NOT an author of any bestseller yet, in his posts, he encourages his readers to have a positive mindset and proactive lifestyle. He reads books that help him uncover his true potential. He is a father of two, married, and a leader in his profession. On the way of his self-discovery, he invites you to be inspired by his thoughts.

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