In one of my turbulent times, I had to solve one of my most significant issues ever. It was so complicated that I had no idea what to do. I was desperate. The situation seemed so confused that it almost broke me. Several ideas and plans were flashing in my head. I tried to find solutions to my problem so hard that I felt my brains stopped working. Like I was in my own prison. The more I was thinking about the issue, the less idea came in my mind.
And it was worsening only. I was in my own trap. I thought I failed; I would never find a pathway to solve it; I thought I couldn’t do anything against my failure. I blamed myself, my disability. I became less confident in my eyes, day by day.
While the panic executed in me – based on the judgment I made on myself – I couldn’t think anything but the trouble I’m in. I put everything else aside. Literally, I was sitting on my couch like a zombie.
Suddenly, by anger, I decided not to think about it at all! I decided to stand up and do something else rather than crying on my inability.
Do you know what happened? I felt like a restarted computer. Although, all my problems remained, at least I was able to contemplate the issue calmly. In fact, I noticed that the problem is an external obstacle, not internal. Therefore, I decided not to degrade my personality into something I do not want to become. I started building self-belief instead; I wanted to be confident whatever the circumstances are; I wanted to strengthen myself to overcome external obstacles.
“First, the mind judges the event, then group events, then identifies with the combined events and finally judges itself. As a result, what usually happens is that these self-judgments become self-fulfilling prophecies.”W. Timothy Gallwey
Have you ever changed your first thought by thinking more deeply about an issue? Have you ever complained to yourself, why not choose the best, first thought? I have! Several times! And when it happened, I was more confident that I know more by heart than I have ever thought.
Have you ever wondered what does it mean? I have! I was wondering if I’m smart enough or skilled enough? I was thinking when would it be feasible to consider and when just do things. If I were able to use the proper option, I would be able to find the best solution to a problem, or I would be able to find the best answer to any question I deal with. What if nothing found? I would go back to learn or practice all I need to, but never mark myself unable again.
All I need is to improve my nonjudgmental awareness. I have to visualize things neutrally to see, not just watch.
These thoughts are not new. They always exist but in different resources. The hard thing is to put all together and apply in my life. I read a lot to do that, and this time I found a fantastic book by W. Timothy Gallwey called “The Inner Game of Tennis” which is not about tennis only. It is about peak performance. If you are interested in improving performance, I highly recommend you read it.
I believe that the foundation of success is self-confidence. How could I be self- confident if I hate myself; if I cannot trust myself? If I think I cannot solve my issues by my impotence, then how can I be successful in any area of life?
“You should free yourself from any emotional reaction to success or failure; simply know your goal and take objective interest in the result.”W. Timothy Gallwey
Therefore, I started to discover the basics of self-confidence. As a first step, I began replacing negative thinking with positive thinking. I started believing in my ability.
I learned at least by my experiment that I need to contemplate issues calmly and use my nonjudgmental awareness to see things as they are in their pure existence to strengthen my self-confidence meanwhile find a pathway to a solution.
Sounds weird? Clearly, I have learned if I have a problem, I take a breath, go for a run, or whatever, and I will find the solution in unexpected moments. I just let my subconscious mind working when giving to my conscious mind a day off. I started to believe in myself.